the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
HIS DICK IS GLORIOUS AND I WANT TO RIDE IT TO VALHALLA
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Fuck these bullshit days. My underwear are still inside out.
What a way to start the day. Staring at penis for 3 hours
It's pretty much my favorite thing ever
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
