I heard we made out
just tell him i said nine months
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
She drank my rum. I had sex in her bed and didn't wash the sheets. We're even.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
