Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
