Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
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