Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
so, I mean this in the straightest way possible, but don't you ever just feel like you owe Jon Stewart a blowjob...
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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