Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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