We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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