I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
do you remember yelling out "insecurity makes my pussy dry!" unnecessarily loud at the bar?
How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Randomize
