Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
You don't have to be drunk! I've licked your asshole before
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Your first mistake was thinking that you could get through the day without drinking a single bottle of alcohol. Your second mistake was wearing shark boxers.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
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