I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
you had me at cake vodka
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
Randomize
