dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
When i asked him what happened all he said was, the toucan... the toucan... over and over again.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I curse you to think about Guy Fieri whenever you have sex with your lady.
I'm ready to run through the streets naked yelling "HES ALIVE!"
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
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