I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
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