Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
