My sheets look like a crime scene.
I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just woke up to a get well card i wrote myself when i was drunk. it was by the advil. i am a cocky bitch.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
