Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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