I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
I think I fell in love with her when I saw her kick a freshman in the chest
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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