There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
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