even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Come on in and take your pants off
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
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