I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Hey, I'm probably about to be arrested but I didn't want to wake you. But it would be cool of you to get the $500.00 I have in the box I keep my "medicine" in and come bail me out. Also I figured you would be amused at the thought of me fending off brutal prison rape tonight.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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