i woke up in the lobby of Holiday Inn on a chair sitting up straight
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
He washed my hair whilst I gave him head in the shower. Bored or gay?
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
Andy was trying to screw his door shut from the inside so no one could get in.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
I'm now forever going to blame miss frizzle for making me the sexual deviant that I am today
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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