i hope my daughter doesn't end up with cankles. no guy likes cankles.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I can't wait til my little brother reaches the point where puking doesn't mean we stop drinking
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
