I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
She kept telling me to calm down. I was on the floor with my eyes shut, not moving. In levels of calm I was one step above coma patient
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Just your daily reminder that we're terrible people: the average number of men a woman sleeps with in their lifetime is 4
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
My mom just asked me if I knew what Buzzfeed was. Then said she's watching the second Magic Mike for the bodies. Please help.
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Randomize
