some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
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