But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
she added emergen-c to the bong-water bro, brilliant.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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