I look better un-naked...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Literally lying on a futon being hand fed bacon
Fuck you.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Randomize
