You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I am in my freshman residence hall trying to convince an Asian man to give me my pants back. Never. Drinking. Again.
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
