I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Watching dad use Doritos to illustrate exactly where to locate the clitoris. How's your family christmas going?
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize
