she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
I'm the catering manager, it's not my job to stop 2 teenagers from fucking in the bathroom. I couldn't bring myself to stop that sort of young romance anyway, that's what I pay you people for
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
