I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
