I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
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