I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
Buying weed on Christmas. Gotta love Jewish drug dealers
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
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