You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Randomize
