I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
So I pass out narcotics if its a girl?
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
