champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I figure I since I made out with him that I at least had to save his number in my phone.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
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