..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
fuck you
also please return my underwear, they were one of my favourite pairs xo
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Randomize
