My boss just told me $1,000 at a six hour event wouldn't be worth her time. She makes $70k a yr. and apparently never learned multiplication.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I may do that, fyi I'm even more sore than I was yesterday. It's like the ghost of your dick is still inside me.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
Randomize
