just went onto Yahoo and the featured article had a picture of one of the Jonas brothers. last two times the featured article was a celebrity's face the headline was "Michael Jackson is Dead" and "Pitchman Billy Mays is Dead" so naturally I got a little excited. Turns out he's just engaged. Who gives a fuck.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
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