hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
