Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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