so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
He said he was Greek American and that is why my legs slammed shut. During the World Cup there are only Americans.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
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