as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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