I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
Life is so much better after having sex.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
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