So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
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