I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize