When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Randomize
