sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
You introduced yourself and she said "wow that's a long name" and you went "yeah well you should see my dick."
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
Randomize
