Picture the opening band right now: euro, beer guts, one member in oversized hipster lumberjack apparel, the other in childsized american apparel and shorts. Singing in german.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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