As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I feel like my vagina was punched by chuck Norris, a Brazilian chuck Norris.
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I have this vague feeling that I was involved in a dance off with a homeless man?
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
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