Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
