Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
If you say no to drinking on a Monday then I'm going to take you to the hospital for a MRI
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
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